I'm Sorry - 360
I should be dead maybe I got nine lives? Seven left cos I've already died twice I'm glad it wasn't bye-bye Because its my time to do it without the high-life what I'm making is really dope but i needa talk about some shit that happened a year ago hold up let me clear my throat yo im about to get deep but i really hope you feel it though. See talking about it hurts it's when I was an addict but i was at my worst No-one knew I didn't tell one person couldn't bring myself to do it cos i felt like a burden. Give me any drug I was chewing em up if I have nine lives then I'm using em up. No-one knew my addiction it was stupid as fuck 90 pills daily of nurofen plus I know that's extreme and i should be dead right but i was so fucked up my tolerance was that high that's the thing with the codeine addiction it's over the counter so you don't need prescriptions That's three packets in a day I didnt get high but i would have em anyway because if I didn't take em then I would be hitting withdraws and guess what? All of this was mid-tour and i cant play in this form having shit thoughts like i got nothing to live for I was a zombie i couldnt feel nothing I smashed four packets cos i just wanted to feel something yo I overdosed fo'sure I was at the venue i was going to preform I can't remember see I was told in the report my tour manager found me convulsing on the floor everyone surrounding no one knowing what its for literally no one knew I was going through it all I fucked up I should be knowing this before I'm a fucking junkie how am I going on a tour? I let down my fans and i owe it to them all that's why I'm being honest and so open with it all it's so hard not knowing what is wrong I can't talk about it so I wrote it in this song woke up in hospital going through withdraws someone guarding my bed but nobody would talk no phone there nobody to call saying what the fuck is going on and no one would inform me And I'm not knowing what's it's for tubes everywhere if only I could walk a man approaches am I alright doc? Then he tells me I'm on suicide watch I'm a danger to myself I wouldn't believe him I didn't try kill myself but they wouldn't believe me I spent a month in a hospital bed living in a nightmare and i just want it to end I'm thinking to myself have I got any friends? Or friends who don't use have I got any left? There's many times where I would want to be dead but we've lost too many and I don't want to be next now im happy I got me some rest I know fo'sure now i don't want it again the harder I hit the gym then the stronger I get the more the devil on my shoulder hasn't got any strength I let my fans and my family down the people standing by me are like family now yo im sorry to anyone who's a fan of me I understand if you wanted to abandon me But if it wasn't for my family I Woulda tied the knot on the rope the devil handed me. I gotta show ma 'father and my mum love and let em know that it's not them that fucked up now you got a quality son if i say im gonna do it then the job will get done I embrace any pain now im not gonna run the gyms a new addiction but a positive one the battle with addiction it's a battle on its own the worst part is I try battle it alone so if your hearing this and your battling at home tell somebody because your family should know! I'm loving life now I'm getting it back if I can do this shit fucking anyone can can't remember cos I blacked out but I wouldn't change a thing cos it made me who I am now